Five Years Ago...
You Passed Away, Brother.
The Night before I was Holding Your Hand and Thinking about when we were Younger...
There is so much that I Wish You were Here For...
And I Know that in Ways You Have Been.
Maybe not in the ways that I had Hoped...
But that is Life Sometimes.
It is Strange because there is something that People Say All the Time...
Something that I used to Believe...
Time Heals All Things.
I Do Not Think that I Believe that Anymore.
For these Five Years I've been Waiting for that Healing to Occur...
Yet Here We Are.
The Pain is Still Very Real.
So are the Tears.
So No...
I'm Not Sure that This Will Heal as I've been Told...
But there is Another Thing...
The Further I Go Down The Path I Seek...
I am Beginning to Wonder...
And Understand...
Perhaps Not All Pain Needs to be Healed.
As I Look to Understand Life Better...
And My Heart...
And My Soul...
I Begin to See that Much of What We Run From in Life as Humans...
Is Perhaps Beneficial if We Allow Them Into Our Lives.
We Run from Fear...
But in Running Away We Give Fear Power Over Us.
Fear, when Understood, Can Instead be a Path to Growth.
When you See This, the Feeling of Fear can be Recognized as a Friend Revealing Opportunity.
So, too, Maybe there are Certain Types of Pain that are Beneficial to Us.
Forms of Pain that We Should Welcome...
Not because they "Feel" Good...
But because they Reveal Something.
This Pain Reveals Love...
A Deep Love which I Learned from You...
An Accepting Love that Sought the Best in All People and Things...
It is a Love that Seems to be Becoming More Rare, Brother.
There is So Much Pain in Today's World...
And As I Dive More Deeply into the Pain...
To Understand It...
I Realize that to Feel Pain sometimes is to Open Ourselves to Deep Love.
A Love that Seeks the Deepest Value in Others...
A Love that So Many Need and are Desperate For...
One Which You Gave So Willingly and Happily.
So Perhaps it is Wiser to Say that Time Does Not Always Heal...
But if We Allow It...
Time May Reveal Truths that are More Impactful than We Realize.
I Love You, Brother.
I Miss You.
I Still Have Pain.
But I have Come to Accept that if the Price of Knowing the Love You Had For Others was this...
I would Pay that Price Every Time.
And I will Continue to Share that Same Type of Love...
However I am Able.
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Scott, My Brother.
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