Many people say that they want Success in their Lives.
But do they really?
I ask because I see Very Few People Succeed.
It is Usually Not from a Lack of Desire to Succeed.
I have met Very Few people who Truly have No Desire to Succeed by Any Definition.
Instead, the Larger Problem that I see is How People Play the Game of Success.
Just as in Any Game, there are Different Strategies.
Some Work Well.
Others Rarely Work.
Sometimes, you must Understand the Ways in which a Game can be Played to have the Best Chances of Success in the Game.
The Game of Success is No Different.
So, what are some of the Ways People Play?
The First is Playing to Lose.
As you can Imagine, this Strategy Often Leads to Losing.
Yet, I see it All the Time.
People who Argue about how "They" Could Never Do It.
They Say they are "Amazing" but that Factors Outside of Themselves make it Infeasible or Impossible to Succeed.
They Know "What" They Need to Do for the Success they Seek, yet Also "Knowingly" Avoid Doing It.
They may say that they will Do It On Their Own Time...
But they Know that Means they Have No Desire to Do Anything Differently.
The Ultimate Result.
They Remain where they are...
Except...
In the Game of Success there is No Such Thing as Stagnation.
You are Either Growing or Decaying.
If You are Not Intentionally Growing, then You are Defaulting to Decaying.
How Else can you Play the Game of Success?
Some People Play for Fun.
Their Goal is to Enjoy the Game.
There is Nothing Wrong with Enjoying the Game.
But here is the Reality of Playing in this Way...
The Journey of Success is Frequently Not Fun.
Parts of the Journey are Hard.
Other Parts will Feel Miserable.
The Game, by Nature, has Ups and Downs that are a Natural Part of Everything.
So, the Natural Tendency for those Who Play for Fun...
When they Hit a Patch that is Not Fun...
They Give Up.
They Stop Playing.
If the Primary Focus is Fun, then they Run from Anything Not Fun.
The Problem here though is that our Greatest Opportunities for Growth...
Those that will Turn us into a Human Who Can Succeed at the Highest Levels...
Exist by Overcoming the Lows.
If you Avoid the Lows?
You Avoid the Best Opportunities for Growth.
This Prevents People from being able to Access Success.
It Does Not Mean that the Path to Success should be Miserable.
Not by Any Stretch of the Imagination...
But when you Focus on Fun, you Miss that Meaning is Created by Overcoming the Difficulties in Life.
Interestingly, in Hindsight, People are Most Proud of the Hardest Times they have Overcome, rather than the Most Fun Times.
Fun is Good.
But on its Own is Shallow.
Then we have those who Play to Win.
Now, you may Believe that the Result here would be Winning...
And to a Degree that is Correct.
But interestingly, this Play Style has a Gigantic Problem...
It usually also comes with a Fear to Lose.
If you Fear Losing, the Natural Tendency is to Play Games You Know You'll Win.
You Win the Games You Play...
But those Games Tend to be Small.
You may Accumulate a Lot of Small Successes...
But the True Successes that are Deeply Impactful and People Remember You For?
You Avoid because the Chances to Lose are Too High to Risk.
Ironically, the Play to Win Style tends to Prevent Success.
This is also Why So Many People who go through the Educational System tend to Lack True Success Later in Life.
Schools Teach Us To Play To Win.
A's at All Costs.
F's are Unacceptable.
C's might as well be F's.
B's will make you Mediocre.
But All is Given to those who Win with A's...
Except the Reality Sets in within the Workplace where the Greatest Successes are Difficult to "Grade", and often Require Losing before You Can Win.
Yes, the Highest Successes Begin with "Lots" of Failure.
If you Avoid the Failure, You Avoid the Highest Potential Successes.
Another way that People Play is to Prove.
They usually have a Need or Desire to Prove themselves to Others.
To Their Clients.
To Their Peers.
To Their Parents.
They are Trying to Prove Themselves to Others.
Can You Win this Way?
Absolutely.
But You Will Also Likely Resent Every Moment of It.
Why?
At the End of the Day, We Really Want to be Accepted for Ourselves...
But if We have to Go Out of Our Way to Be Accepted?
There is a Long Period of Time Where We Believe, Consciously or Subconsciously, that We Are "Not" Accepted.
During that Entire Period, we are usually Flooded with a Mixture of Intense Emotions that Continue to Grow Underneath the Surface.
Sadness.
Anger.
Loneliness.
Fear.
This Play Style also has an Extreme Drawback that Frequently Plays Out...
If you Put Everything Into Winning the Game of Success for Someone Else...
Then You Win...
But You Still Do Not Receive Anything from that Person...
Everything that You Put In Will Feel Like Energy, Time, and Emotions Wasted.
This is Often the Result for a Couple of Potential Reasons.
For instance, the Person you're Trying to Prove Yourself to Could be Too Focused on their Own Challenges to "Give" You their Approval.
As they are Focused on Themselves, they Miss Everything You Did "For" Them.
Or, it could also be that the Other Person Simply Does Not Know "How" to Show their Approval.
It could be that they "Did" Approve, just Not in the Way You Hoped.
In these Situations it is also Common for them Not to Know.
A Lack of Communication Between Parties.
You Never Told Them You Felt They Never Approved.
They Felt They Were Approving And Showed It In Their Way.
Both People Feel Right, Yet Both Are Wrong.
Then, there is the Person who Simply Will Never Give You Their Approval.
Sometimes People Never Intend to Give Any Form of Approval...
No Matter How Hard You Work...
No Matter How Much You Do For Them...
No Matter How Unfair It May Be...
It was Doomed from the Beginning.
The Only Person You Must Prove Yourself To...
Is Yourself.
This Brings Us to the Final Way to Play the Game of Success.
You Play because it is Worth Playing.
This is a Strange One for Many because it comes with some Understandings We Must Accept to "Truly" Play in this Style.
First, You Must Understand that Losing is Likely.
It is also Possible that the Final Outcome will be Losing.
Games that are Worth Playing are often Gigantic.
High Reward and High Risk.
Your Goal is to Win, but You can Lose Gracefully Along the Way.
Second, Although you Know Losing is Likely, You're Not Defeatist.
There is a Difference between Losing Before Starting, and Losing After You Give It Everything You Have.
The Latter Still Feels Satisfying because You Know You Played With Your All.
Third, Much of It Will Not Feel Fun.
It will be Difficult.
It may Fill Your Soul with Pain, Especially when the Cause Impacts Others.
It will likely be Filled with Intense Emotions.
But, even if there are Many Trials...
Overcoming the Trials makes All the Challenges, Pain, and Emotions Worth It.
Fourth, You Play "For" Yourself.
It is Only "Worth Playing" if You Feel It is "Worthy" to You.
Others May Not Understand It, and that is Ok.
You Play this Version of Success because it is Worth It to You.
When you Play because it is Worth It...
And you do it in this Manner...
You Discover that No Matter the Outcome...
No Matter How Others Perceive Your Efforts...
You Still Won by the Only Metric of Success that Matters in the End.
Are You Ready to Go Beyond Leadership?
Tired of Broken Algorithms and AI Slop?
Excited to Dive Deeper into Psychophysiological Mastery?
Want to Change The World?